This is the first of four posts on the art of resilience. As mentioned in a previous blog post (The Art of Resilience) I attended a training session last week on resilience, which triggered all kinds of enlightening thoughts.
I have been thinking about this topic non-stop and want to share my secrets on how to become a more resilient person – you can apply these insights to all aspects of your life, including work, your family life, your relationship with your partner, your health and fitness… the list is endless!
So let’s get down to the nitty gritty…
Lesson 1: acknowledging the people around you
Back home, I have a very strong family bond. I would definitely say that I am very close with my family and I think a large part of that is because my grandparents were born and raised in a collectivist society in India. So, my family has very strong family values, which has always been a key part of my life – this includes my immediate family as well as my extended family and distant relatives too!
I would say that most of my family members are very resilient people. Growing up, I have been encouraged to be just as resilient as them. The unwritten rule in my immediate family is: you’ll succeed the first time and even if you don’t, try again and you will, “everything will be fine!” It’s all very positive. I think it’s why I’m so much of a dreamer and sometimes can’t grip onto the mundane realities that many people fret about. I’ll dream about fairies, write about tulips and sing about laughing – It’ll be fine because I have a strong support system. I’m not saying that I’m not grounded, I’m just saying that there’s no need to worry.
Measuring your resilience
During the training session, I was asked to measure on a scale of 1-10 how resilient I think I am. Most people said 5 and I thought 7/8. However, if I were at home, I’d probably say 9/10.
So why do I feel less resilient here? Well, perhaps it’s the people immediately around me. Perhaps they are less supportive than they are back home. It’s easy to feel like a number in London but I’m still very positive about myself, but I do acknowledge that without that constant support system around me all of the time, my resilience level drops a couple of notches.
When I’m with my friends and with my boyfriend I feel my resilience level is boosted – so perhaps 7/8 is my default number, which is boosted by the positive people I choose to be around – still, pretty high. I would therefore say that I am very resilient even if I don’t have a strong support system around me. However, I do think that having a strong support system growing up has allowed me to flourish in this way.
To sum up…
So lesson 1 is as simple as surrounding yourself with positive and encouraging people. People who will push you to strive in your work/relationships/health etc! This is so simple but super important! We have to learn to be more resilient and what better way than learning with the people you love the most? You have to allow yourself to grow with this journey and recognise the people who are supporting you in your life. Once you do that, their positive words and encouragement will soon become a part of your day-to-day thoughts and very soon the cemented bricks will harden.