Sometimes, I feel that I get lost in the day to day material life in which I live in. The past few years, I’ve really started understanding what is most important to me. It’s not money or houses or cars or jewellry (although my eyes would happily stay glued to a diamond tiara if they could). It’s more about my experiences and what I can learn from people to expand my understanding of existence.
I am very in touch with my emotions and feelings and I often feel so empty when I’m not doing something that is actually helping me grow or something more meaningful. I have to be this intangible soul, switching from material to meaningful and when there’s no balance, one side becomes overpowering and takes over my world.
Since I’ve moved to London, my stress levels seem to be decreasing (which is fantastic for my stomach!), although I think this is because I’m not commuting a 6 hour round trip every day! Even so, I am now starting to feel a growing distance to the Me of this time last year – my blissfully happy self who did everything to make herself happy. The past Me who would only let positive people in her life who shared positive attitudes and encouraged her to be her very best. London and the Western world overall is so unapologetically material and sometimes it gets too much for me to handle. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m born in a material world (and I am a material girl! Love a bit of old school Madonna!) but, I’ve proactively developed an understanding that (pardon the cliché) has shown me more to life. So. Much. More. Also, I have found myself letting negative people into my life who make me feel crappy. Why? That’s what I need to figure out. I’ve recognised that I need to proactively blow away the negativity. I refuse to take it anymore (she’s baaaack!).
When I am looking at my life in a larger aspect like this, I tend to shut myself off from the world for a while so I can spend quality time with myself. With work getting so busy at the moment too, I think now is a great time to spend all of my effort and money on me. It’s also difficult when you’re in a relationship because you have to save some attention for your other half. However, this month is probably a great month for me time as my boyfriend is away for the first half of the month and I’m away for the second.
My learning to myself is: feel free to get lost but always leave gluten free breadcrumbs so you can find your way back.
Peace and Love