Ever wondered about what I think about when I look out of the window?
Right, here we go – here are all of my thoughts for the next 5 minutes – absolutely unfiltered and unedited.
Sheep are fluffy. No, more wooly and allotments are for old people but I want an allotment to grow tomatoes. Actually. Dill. I would leave the allotment for years and come back in the hope potatoes would grow. Sex. Green grass. I’m on a train and want to jump and roll and swim on the green grass. You can’t swim on the green grass. I think too much. Too fast I can’t type. Dang. Selfies. I like when he asks to take selfies because I’ve stopped asking. I hate rejection and would rather not be so rejected anymore. Frustration. Pink sand dunes and raspy Jesus saddles. Gladiator Sandles are cool too. I love my Yoga wheel. He’s the best, yes he’s a he. Why? I don’t know. Just is. Why do I name my inanimate objects? Why the bloody hell not! Get off my case. Brad brap! Jesus Lord Christ, Lord have mercy. Frustration!!!! Literally the song by Miguel when he’s talking about not having sex. Oh yeah, How many drinks will it take you to leave with me? Fluffy bunnies, white bunnies with red eyes. I want to swim. It’ll hurt, haven’t been for so long. The good pain. Am I fucking sadist to myself? Sass pants. I really want a tortoise. Hot vet holding the tortoise is the best thing Evz. Okay not Evz, my wheel is pretty much on top. You say car, you say your brief case full of cash I say wheel. FXck you. Do I swear too much? Only when I’m excited or trying to get some giggles. Shit. Bollocks. Cock! Cock face. Russell Peters!! You fucking blow job, ah takes me back to second year. Why am I nostalgic? How did this happen. I remember the guy from the train who was like the Angel I needed in my life, a while back. Where’s he? Why didn’t I see him again? Why aren’t there more people like him? Did he die? Dang, was he decapitated like the guy who used to decapitate people and put… The Walking Dead… their heads along the banister? Dang. Or maybe he’s fine. Hope he didn’t get run over. Girl, you’re my angel, you’re my darling angel. Rice noodles are the fucking bomb! Did I get a chuckle? But seriously rice noodles remind me of seemia that my Mum and Bibi make. Yum! But as a savory food not sweet. With tuna. And olives. And sweetcorn. I love tuna and onions. I really want a tortoise. Can’t wait to see my brothers. And my Mum and Dad. I just want to go Tesco with them and mess around. Putting random stuff in people’s trolley’s like impractical Jokers. The Royal Rumble. I’m hungry. For tuna. But it’s too early for tuna. Cereal? I can eat cornflakes! Sunrise sunrise, feels like morning in your eyes. I over work myself. I have people… haha! In bands asking me to join their bands. I shouldn’t of given them hope. I don’t have time for this! I just want to do yoga and sing and play the flute and learn guitar and the tambourine and then play myself and sing. I miss America. The land of the free, home of the brave. Is it? I miss Courtney and Katya aww, and Das. Ferbie. Ray. Bruce, my Fairy God Cat. Who the bloody hell is Milo? Who calls their kid Milo? Pretty sure I had a crush on someone called Milo in my teens. Ah, Leo DiCaprio. I might watch Titanic! Fock I left it London, can the train go back I want a helicopter. I will marry a man with a plane. Who can Fly me loopty loopty loopty loop in a plane. Nah, not really. I don’t trust men who wear pinky rings. What did he do to get that plane! And who does he think he is wearing a pinky ring. Okay, I’m cold. I do actually finish my sentences… it’s weird listening to myself like this, helloooo. Stupid iPad. I love you. I have no wifi. The wee fee. No, the wee fee. Hashtag throw back teaching dance. Yes, I hash tagged thro… turtles. I want a turtle. And a tortoise. But I think a tortoise. Milkshake the snake in ma pocket. So excited for India. I hope there are no snakes around the loo. Can I constipated myself for two weeks? That kid who took a pack of Imodium. I’m cold. Goosebumps. Goooosebumpsss. Danny the ghost. Ah, fun. Roses and my leg’s dead. I hate pins and needles. Puff the magic dragon. Okay, sex. This is enough now. Couple goals. I want to go on Instagram but I have no wifi. The weefee. Frigin Milo! Stop walking around! How many times do you need the …. DEAD LEG! I hate this. Oh, blue sky. Green grass. Muddy lakes. Allotments. Brown trees. Where are the sheep? The cows. The moo moos. Milk. I want milk. Red milk. Skimmed. Skimmed milk. Fucking weefee. Signal is rubbish too. Words are weird. Why is my emoji key board up? The lame emoji at work. Get rid of this keyboard offfa maaa scaareeennn. Damn. I’m cold. Nope, don’t wanna eat. Okay I’m outtie. Quite excited to crazy cats read through this ram in the rain hah! Ho! Who you calling ho? Itchy hand and did I just seen snow! Shoot. I get no attention from him. Dammit. Not good. I fin.